Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why do doctors refuse HRT to menopausal women but hand them out to trans people?

I can read

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Have you ever had sex with your female cousin? How did it start?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What are some prime examples of gibberish from the bible?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Is it okay to pay 12,000 SEK for rent 67m² furnished house for 2 people in Jönköping, Sweden? It also includes electricity, internet, heating, and water expenses.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

Famous 'ice-age puppies' are not actually dogs, according to new study - Earth.com

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why hasn't Japan legalized same-sex marriage?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Can you make a fake K-pop group? It can be with any idols.

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Do you think this Labour Party is qualified to run our country?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t cotton to rapists

Who are some good social skills therapists in Pompano Beach, Florida?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What does it mean to you to live a life that reflects biblical values?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What one thing makes someone a very mature person?

I see through liars

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

How do you feel about the impending end of what Donald Trump calls "the Green New scam"?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy bullshit

How can I be okay with being ugly? What is the bright side?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I actually pay taxes

Is Twilight appropriate for a 12-year-old?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”